Follow On

John 1

35Again the next day John was standing with two of his disciples,

36and he looked at Jesus as He walked, and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God!"

37The two disciples heard him speak, and they followed Jesus.

38And Jesus turned and saw them following, and said to them, "What do you seek?" They said to Him, "Rabbi (which translated means Teacher), where are You staying?"

39He said to them, "Come, and you will see." So they came and saw where He was staying; and they stayed with Him that day, for it was about the tenth hour.


You probably won't be able to fully appreciate this unless you have a child or a dog. Maybe a cat. I'm not sure about cats.

When we speak of "following Jesus" today, we mean that we follow in His footsteps figuratively. We keep His teachings. We obey Him. We submit to His leadership.

But when Jesus was physically present on earth, people were literally able to follow Him. Around. As in, walking right behind Him. Maybe even stepping on the backs of His sandals like my children do to me sometimes.

Which got me to thinking. Why do people follow other people around? And who are these people who follow other people around? And why are my children and my dog always following me around? And why does it annoy me when my children and my dog follow me around? (Ok, I haven't figured that one out yet, but there's some kind of a sin issue in there somewhere, I'm sure.)

Who?
First of all, you don't usually see an adult following another adult around unless one of them is a stalker. But there are a some occasions in which it might be appropriate and legal, for example, if the person being followed is a tour guide, or if the person being followed is a seasoned employee training a new hire. Much of the time, literal followers are children. And at my house, the dog.

Why?
Why do people follow people around? Think about it-- have you ever followed somebody around? Why did you do it? Do people follow you around? Why do they do it?

People generally follow another person around because:

a.) they are interested in what that person is doing,
or
b.) they want to learn from that person,
or
c.) they have no idea where they're going and the person they're following does.

That's why people followed Jesus around. They had heard that he spoke and taught as no one ever had before (John 7:46). They had heard about the miracles and healings. They were curious. Were the rumors true? What might they see?

For some, that initial interest blossomed into a desire to sit under the tutelage of Jesus. They couldn't get enough of His teaching, so these first century groupies followed him from speaking engagement to speaking engagement.

Certainly, none of the people who followed Jesus around had a clue as to where they were going, spiritually speaking. Jesus did. He not only knew the way to the kingdom of God, He was the Way (John 14:6). Who better to follow?

So why do my children and my dog follow me around?

Well, my dog follows me around because hope springs eternal in her that I will drop food on the floor, or that one miraculous day, the meal I'm cooking in the kitchen will actually be for her. She's not interested in learning anything from me and she knows her way around the house just fine.

My children follow me around for the same basic reasons people followed Jesus around. They're curious. They want to know what I'm doing, and they hope it will be something fun that will involve them. When they're young, even cooking, sweeping, and folding the laundry seem interesting to them (yeah, my kids don't get out much) and they want to learn how to do it just like Mom. When we're in an unfamiliar place, they follow me because they don't know how to get where we're going, and I do.

Which makes me think.

How am I walking? Am I walking the way Jesus walked? Do I walk uprightly (Psalm 84:11)? Do I walk in integrity (Proverbs 20:7) Do I walk blamelessly (Proverbs 11:20)?

Do I follow Jesus so closely that by following me around, my children can learn to follow Him too?

Playing Go Fish

Not long ago, I stumbled across a fabulous vocal band called Go Fish. They bill themselves as "great music for kids that won't drive parents bonkers!" and they certainly live up to that declaration. I would classify them as a Christian version of "The Wiggles" except that The Wiggles drive me somewhat bonkers. They have released a number of songs that will appeal to adults as well, particularly their Christmas music. Here are a few of my favorites:

The Mom Song

It's About the Cross

Bible Book Bop

Their Vacation Bible School curriculum also looks great!

Go Fish's music is available for purchase (MP3 downloads as well as CDs) on their web site (link above), walmart.com, CBD, and Amazon.com.

Anything to Get the Kids to Read?

This seems to be a new mantra that has sprung up amongst parents and educators over the last few years. I've heard it many times-- said with an almost religious fervor --as though a child who doesn't read is in the same immediate danger as a child who doesn't eat.



And whenever I hear this statement made with such intensity, I can't help but think, "Anything to get the kids to read? Really? Anything?" Just how far are we willing to go for the sake of reading?



Most recently I heard this statement made in response to a topic on my local talk radio station. It seems a high school English teacher assigned his class a book to read that contained a significant amount of profanity. Parents complained. The principal intervened and the assignment was terminated. Many who disagreed with the principal's decision repeated the litany, almost in unison: "Who cares if there's profanity? The kids were reading."



On another occasion, a Christian father and I were discussing the new movie and book, Twilight. He was planning to allow his "tween-ager" to see the movie in hopes that she would then read the books. He had made this decision, not because he thought the subject matter of the books or movie would be good for her (in fact, he indicated that he had decided to allow her to see it against his better judgment of the content), but because he wanted to do something that would get her to read more.


Now, granted, I haven't read the book series or seen the movie, so my comment stems only from the several reviews and articles I've read about them, but has reading become so important even to Christian parents that they feel the need to OK a book/movie for their children that gives at least the appearance of nominal approval to vampirism?


Don't get me wrong, I think reading is very important. I'm an avid reader, as are my children who are old enough to read independently. I guess I'm just a little perplexed that in a country with freedom of the press, where we have access to a bountiful supply of good books, both Christian and secular, that don't contain questionable material, we are getting sucked into the mentality that the only way to get kids to read is to present them with books that contain and normalize profanity, occultism, gratuitous violence and gore, inappropriate and explicit sexuality, and any number of other things that we wouldn't want them exposed to in real life. Why choose books like that when there are so many other better choices?


There are better ways to turn your kids into readers of good books:

• Start early- Read to your kids from the time they are infants. Make it a normal, habitual part of life. I used to read to my babies when I was nursing them. I just read aloud from whatever book or magazine I happened to be reading at the moment myself. (That was actually a lot more interesting than reading Green Eggs and Ham or Go Dogs, Go to them a zillion times a day!)

• Make it part of the daily routine- Just as you set aside time for brushing teeth, naps, daily devotions, homework, etc., set aside time every day to read to your children, or require your older children to spend a certain amount of time reading every day. One thing I have found that works well with my children is to occasionally allow them to stay up fifteen or twenty minutes past their bedtime, but only if they will use that time to read.

• Make reading something to look forward to- Several years ago, I began a practice of reading my older children a book series every summer. We started with the Little House on the Prairie books, then moved to the Narnia books and others. As we near the end of the school year each May, one of the things I have them do is start looking around the library and the internet for the book series they want us to read that summer. They look forward to this each year. Finding an appropriate author or a topic your children like and having them watch for the latest book to come out is another way to build excitement.

• Reward reading- Because I love to read so much, it is hard to for me to imagine anyone needing a reward for reading; it's kind of a reward in itself! Some kids need a little more motivation, though. They might enjoy participating in reading contests such as Pizza Hut's "Book It" program. Also, check out the programs at your local library. Our library sponsors a reading contest for both kids and adults every summer. It allows the reader to set a goal for the number of books he thinks he can read over the summer and then awards prizes for those who reach their goals. Or, if your kid is dying to see a movie that is based on a certain book, make seeing the movie a reward for reading the book.

• Set an example- Be a reader yourself. Find an interesting book and curl up on the couch with your kids while they read their books.

• Limit the electronic pacifiers- This is a good idea even if you're not especially interested in getting your child to read more. Unlimited time in front of the TV, computer, gaming system, or hand-held video games is hazardous to your child's intellectual health. Conversely, having your child read in order to earn "screen time" can be a good motivator.

As with everything else, it's important to abide by Biblical principles when choosing reading materials for ourselves and our children. Reading is important, but not as important as filling our kids' minds with Godliness.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. Philippians 4:8

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- X

10.

Thou shalt love.

Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. I John 4:11

Loving our children isn't something that just happens. It also isn't just a nice fuzzy feeling. It's a duty. A responsibility. A command from the lips of God Himself.

"...if God SO loved us..." What does that "so" mean? It's talking about the way God loves us.

• By this the love of God was manifested in us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world so that we might live through Him. In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. (I John 4:9-10)

God loved us enough to do what was best for us even though it cost Him that which He held most dear. He loved us sacrificially and unselfishly.

• But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8)

Even when we were living in outright rebellion against Him and didn't care that he wanted what was best for us, God loved us.

• For whom the LORD loves He reproves; Even as a father corrects the son in whom he delights. (Proverbs 3:12)

God loves us too much to allow us to continue our self-destructive behavior, so He disciplines us.

• But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us (Ephesians 2:4) Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:32)

But, even as God disciplines us, in His mercy he forgives us when we repent of our sin.

• The steps of a man are established by the LORD; And He delights in his way. When he falls, he will not be hurled headlong; Because the LORD is the One who holds his hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)

When we're holding God's hand and walking in His ways, He delights in us!

• He who has clean hands and a pure heart; Who has not lifted up his soul to falsehood; And has not sworn deceitfully. He shall receive a blessing from the LORD; And righteousness from the God of his salvation. (Psalm 24:4-5)

When we're living in obedience to God, He blesses and rewards us.

Do we love our children the way God loves us? Do we...

• love them sacrificially and unselfishly?
• love them enough to want what's best for them?
• love them enough to do what's best for them even if they fight us every step of the way?
• love them enough to disicipline them?
• love them enough to forgive them?
• love them by delighting in them?
• love them by blessing and rewarding them for doing well?

It's a huge challenge. Our kids are going to drive us up the wall, rebel, pout, whine, and at times, break our hearts. Just like we do to God. But if He so loved us, we ought also to love our children.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- IX

9.

Thou shalt be forgiving.

“bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” Col. 3:13

Imagine a home where there was no forgiveness. Anger and bitterness would reign supreme. Old wounds would be nursed and rehearsed. Grudges would be held tightly as treasured friends. Is this kind of home healthy for anyone, let alone children?

Of course not. In our homes, the place where we are most inclined to let it all hang out, forgiveness is even more vital than in any other venue. If you have a husband and/or children, you know that the people who live in your house are going to screw up. Royally, at times. And guess what? So are you.

How will you want to be treated when you mess up? I'm guessing that while you'll understand your family will be disappointed in you, you'll still want them to find it in their hearts to forgive you once they work through that disappointment. In obedience to the "Golden Rule" (Luke 6:31), therefore, you've got to extend forgiveness when your husband or children offend you.

When we forgive each other, we paint a picture of God's forgiveness. Just as God does not condone our sin when He forgives us, the forgiveness we extend on the human level does not mean that the offender's actions were ok. It is merely a way of saying, "I'm going to let this go instead of continually holding it against you."

God deeply values forgiveness. It is the entire reason He sent His Son, Jesus, to earth and allowed Him to be brutalized to death. Jesus endured all that pain and degradation so that each of us could be forgiven for offending God. And, if God could go through all of that to forgive us, how could we ever refuse to forgive our loved ones?

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- VIII

8.

Thou shalt set a good example for thy children by thine own Godly behavior.

“…walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, showing tolerance for one another in love,” Eph. 4:1-2

Do what I say, not what I do.

Monkey see, monkey do.

Actions speak louder than words.

Practice what you preach.

Which of those maxims seem to ring true when it comes to parenting? For years, every childrearing expert who has come along has reminded us that modeling the behavior we want our kids to exhibit is one of the most effective ways of shaping them. Of course, if you're a mom of a child who is old enough to walk and talk, you already know that modeling works, because, for better or for worse, you've already heard your own words fly out of your child's mouth or seen him imitate you at some point!

Your kids will imitate you. My kids will imitate me. How do we use that knowledge to pour Godliness into them? The Bible tells us that we are to be imitators of Christ (I Cor. 11:1; Eph. 5:1-2). We need to strive for Godliness in our own lives until we can say to our kids, as Paul said to the Corinthians, "Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ."

They need to see us studying our Bibles and spending time in prayer. They need to see us resist temptation. They need to see us set aside our own desires in favor of serving others. They need to see us exhibit love, humility, kindness, patience, forgiveness and mercy. They need to hear us building others up instead of criticizing and gossiping. They need to see us work through problems with our husbands, families and friends in a Godly way. They need to see us admit when we're wrong and seek forgiveness.

So, in the spirit of that old children's song:

Oh, be careful Mommy's mouth what you say
And be careful Mommy's feet where you go
And be careful Mommy's hands what you do

Not only is "the Father up above...looking down in love", but our little ones are looking up at us too.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- VII

7.

Thou shalt consistently and lovingly discipline thy children.

Proverbs 13:24:

Those who don't correct their children hate them. But those who love them are careful to train them. (NIRV)

A refusal to correct is a refusal to love; love your children by disciplining them. (MSG)

He who spares his rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines diligently and punishes him early. (AMP)

These kids today! Every generation since Adam and Eve has probably said it. Certainly today, you can't throw a rock out the window without hitting half a dozen ill-behaved brats. We've all cringed at the temper tantrum-throwing child seated at the next table in the restaurant, or watched a mom in the store tell her little sweetie "no" a dozen times, only to finally give in to his demands. Heck, most of us have probably been that mom on occasion.

Hundreds of books, both Christian and secular, have been written on the topic of how to discipline children, but much rarer are the writings about why we should discipline them. As always, the easy answer to that question for the Christian is: "because God said so". But why does God tell us to discipline our children? Because discipline teaches our children that we love them.

The most important way we can love our children is to lead them to salvation. Learning obedience to parents teaches them the concept of setting aside their own behavior in favor of submitting to the authority that has been placed over them. This has direct application to the spiritual construct of salvation. Salvation does not take place until we submit our wills to the authority and Lordship of Christ and commit to follow and obey Him.

I John 4:20 says: "If someone says, "I love God," and hates his brother, he is a liar; for the one who does not love his brother whom he has seen, cannot love God whom he has not seen." I really believe this general principle applies to obedience as well. One of the things I tell my kids when I discipline them is that, although I don't enjoy punishing them or letting them suffer the consequences of their actions, I have to do it because I want them to start learning, through obeying me, how to obey God. I'm flesh and blood standing right in front of them, clearly telling them what to do and what will happen if they don't obey. If they can't obey me, how in the world are they going to learn to obey God, whom they can't see or hear with their eyes and ears? Conversely, if a child has been lovingly and consistently disciplined, how much easier will it be to introduce him to the concept of submission to God's authority?

Another vital spiritual principle that discipline helps teach is an understanding of sin, its consequences, and punishment. A child who has been disciplined knows what it means to be guilty of breaking the rules. He also knows that because he has broken a rule, some sort of undesirable consequence will follow swiftly. A child who has not been disciplined believes he does no wrong and that the world around him should be catering to his wants and demands. Which child will be able to grasp the idea that he is a sinner in need of salvation? Which one will understand contrition, eternal punishment, and eternal reward?

Teaching obedience also teaches our children that we are concerned about how they fare with others. My children have come to me in the past and told me that they don't like being around certain friends of theirs who constantly misbehave. On these occasions, I very carefully (to ensure that they don't become critical or develop an attitude of superiority) explain to my children that this is one of the reasons Daddy and I teach them good behavior. We don't want them to experience the sadness that misbehaving child is sure to feel when he realizes that people don't want to be around him. We teach them that we love them enough to want others to delight in them.

Discipline shows love for our children through concern for their safety. If my child doesn't obey me when I tell him not to run into the street, he could be killed by an oncoming car. If he runs into the street and then stands there and argues with me when I tell him to get back on the sidewalk, he could also be killed.

Many years ago, when I was teaching school, a kindergarten student of mine was killed in a house fire. He didn't die because he was unable to get out of the house. He was rescued, unharmed, and was told not to go back into the house. This little boy, notoriously disobedient, went back into the house. He died as a result of lack of discipline.

I have told my children these stories on occasion, not to scare them unnecessarily, but to show them just how serious the consequences of disobedience can be. All the spiritual principles in the world won't matter if a child isn't alive to learn them.

"Love your children by disciplining them." Show them love through their physical safety; show them love through their social well-being; and show them love through their eternal security.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- VI

6.

Thou shalt teach thy children to pray.

“pray without ceasing;” I Thessalonians 5:17

When my kids were toddlers, I knew that there was no way they could wrap their little undeveloped brains around the abstract concept of God. It is certainly true, though, that God has made Himself evident within each of our hearts (Romans 1:19), because when the kids and I would pray together or talk about God, none of them ever once asked me who God was, even though they couldn't see, hear, or touch Him. Teaching our kids to pray fans that little spark of knowing God into flame. Start from birth, and help them to make it a lifelong discipline.

I'm not a big fan of "Now I lay me down to sleep", "God is great; God is good" and other memorized prayers. There's nothing intrinsically wrong with them, and they do contain some spiritual truths, but in my own experience the more familiar, rote, and repetitious something is, the less meaningful it can become over time. I think it's important to teach kids that prayer is an actual dialogue with God that should have meaning for our lives. We talk to Him. He listens. He talks to us. We listen.

When we teach children to pray, they need to know that they don't have to use "thee's" and "thou's" and a bunch of fancy language in order to be heard. There are millions of people all over the globe who wouldn't know flowery speech if it smacked them upside the head, and yet God listens to them just the same.

It is also essential that we teach them that while God is indeed our friend, He is also holy, and must be addressed with reverence for that holiness. When we recognize His holiness in our prayers by acknowledging Him as Creator of all things in the universe, listing and proclaiming His attributes (such as goodness, mercy, justice, grace, love, forgiveness, etc.), and humbling ourselves before Him, it puts us in the right spiritual attitude for doing business with God.

Another vital distinction to make is that God is not Santa Claus. He's not sitting up there waiting for our wish lists, granting them if we've been nice and denying them if we've been naughty. Kids are naturally self-centered, so it helps them to take that focus off the self if we teach them to thank God for the things that they already have, to pray for others, and to confess their sins.

Jesus gave us a great example of how to pray in the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13):

• Our Father who is in heaven, Hallowed be Your name. Your kingdom come Your will be done, On earth as it is in heaven. We humble ourselves before God, recognizing His position and submitting to His sovereignty and authority.
• Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven. We intercede for ourselves as well as others. We ask that God's will, not ours or anyone else's, be done in each situation, and that He will receive the glory in every circumstance.
• Give us this day our daily bread. We ask for God's provision for our needs and recognize that it is only by His hand that we have anything.
• And forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. We confess and ask forgiveness for our sins. We ask God to help us forgive those who have sinned against us.
• And do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil. We ask for God's protection and the strength to obey Him and resist temptation.
• For Yours is the kingdom and the power and the glory forever. Amen. We again recognize God's sovereignty, give Him glory, and leave all of our requests with Him to deal with as He sees fit.

Your 5 year old's prayer, encompassing these areas, might look something like this:

Dear Lord, Thank you for being good and loving. Thank you for my family and my dog. Thank you for making the park so I can play there. Thank you for the food we've eaten today, and please give us the food we need tomorrow. Please help my friend Jason to feel better and get over the flu. I'm sorry I hit my brother this morning. Please forgive me and help me to be kind to him. I love You. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Of course, he probably isn't going to come up with all of that on his own. The best way to teach kids to pray is to pray with them. You might go first, praying a simple prayer, and then have him pray, or you might want to try what I call a "ping pong" prayer. You pray one sentence, and he prays the next, and so on, until you're done. For example:

Mom: Dear Lord, thank you for being kind.
Kid: Thank you for being forgiving.
Mom: Please help the Jones family because they're sad that their cat died.
Kid: Please take care of our missionaries in South America.
etc......

One of the ways we can teach our kids to listen to God is to keep track of His answers to our prayers. At our house, I was concerned that, while we were all praying together, the kids were not making the connection between their prayers and what God was doing in our lives. I decided a good way to help them make that connection would be to keep track of answered prayers as well as blessings we hadn't thought to ask for, and other ways God was working in our family.

It was as simple as a trip to the dollar store. I bought a piece of posterboard and entitled it "What is God up to?" It now graces one wall of our breakfast room. Every time we have an answered prayer (even if the answer is no), an unexpected blessing, or an obvious move of God in our lives, I write it down on the poster. It has really helped the kids to see where God is moving. I can tell, because now they are the ones to remind me of an answer to prayer or something else that needs to go on the poster!

It has also helped them to learn that our prayers don't just bounce off the ceiling. God does care for us. He does want to hear from us. We can bond with Him by spending time talking to Him. Those are priceless precepts for kids and parents alike.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- V

5.

Thou shalt train thy children in the words of

the Scriptures.

"These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. Deut. 6:6

My children are involved in a wonderful program at our church called Awana. (More information for starting Awana at your church here: http://www.awana.org/) They do lots of fun activities, and everything revolves around memorizing Scripture. I can't tell you how many hours I've spent listening to the kids recite verses so they can progress through their workbooks. I'm certain my kids have more Bible verses memorized than I do.

Training our kids in the words of the Scriptures starts with reading Bible stories to them, praying with them, and teaching them to memorize Bible verses, but it doesn't end there. The fruition of Biblical training is learning to apply those verses and Biblical principles to the situations that arise in our lives. If our kids never make the connection between the words of Scripture in their heads and how those words should affect what they do, we might as well not be training them at all.

Times of disobedience bring great opportunities to talk about the way God wants us to behave. We teach the kids the importance of praying and asking God to forgive them for their sins, as well as asking forgiveness from the person against whom they've sinned. It's also a good time to talk about Scriptures that should have (and should, in the future) governed the child's behavior. Some well-worn verses at our house include:

• Ephesians 6:1 ~ Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. (NASB)
• Philippians 2:14 ~ Do everything without complaining or arguing (NIV)
• Ephesians 4:32a ~ Be ye kind, one to another (KJV)
• Luke 6:31 ~ Do to others as you would have them do to you. (NIV)

TV shows, news items, other people's behavior the children witness, and the example we as parents set, whether good or bad, can provide other opportunities for discussion about the Scriptures.

If we want our kids to live lives of Godliness, we've got to take advantage of every opportunity we have to help them make the connection between, "What does God say about this?" and, "What am I going to do about it?" Not a bad thing for us parents to meditate on either!

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- IV

4.

Thou shalt make a pro-active decision that thy household will be a Godly one.

“Unless the LORD builds the house, they labor in vain who build it;” Ps. 127:1

When you build a house, you don't simply wish it into existence. You have to have plans drawn up, buy the right materials, find the right place to build, and actually get out there and start sawing and hammering.

The same is true of having a Godly household. It doesn't just happen by virtue of the fact that you and your spouse are Christians. You have to sit down together and make a definite decision, preferably before you even get married, that your home will be run in a Godly way.

Where will we attend church? How often will we have family devotions? What is our understanding of what the Bible has to say about what is and is not acceptable behavior for us as spouses and for our children? How will we respond when one of us sins or when the children are disobedient? What will we do if one of us feels that God is calling us to a new location or a new career?

Naturally, you can't foresee every scenario that might come up in the future, but if you lay a Godly, Biblical foundation from the start, you won't have to re-invent the wheel every time a new situation arises. You will have developed a Godly "policy and procedure" for facing life.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- III

3.

Thou shalt have a Christ-centered marriage.

And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart. Eccl. 4:12

There are so many little details to attend to when you're planning a wedding. Will the guests throw rice or blow bubbles? Will the bouquets be wrapped with pink ribbon or white? Will the groomsmen wear bow ties or regular ties? For someone like me who has to see absolutely every option available to her before making a decision, it can be a daunting and time-consuming task. Such was the day I sat down to pick out napkins for my reception.

Before I undertook the planning of a wedding, I never would have guessed that it would take more than about 30 seconds to choose napkins. You just pick out some napkins that go along with the color scheme of the wedding, right? Au contraire. There are huge ring binders (yes, that's binders, plural) chock full of hundreds of napkins in every imaginable color, size and texture. Once you nail down those preferences, you have to choose what you want embossed on the napkins. There, too, the choices are nearly endless.

So, I flipped through page after page of embossment designs, finding them either too corny, too plain, or otherwise unacceptable. Finally, I came to a very interesting one that I eventually chose. It quoted the second half of Ecclesiastes 4:12, "A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart, with a picture above the verse of a cord of three strands wound together. The ends of the outer two strands were tied to wedding rings, and the end of the middle strand was tied to a cross.

I had never noticed this little verse before that day, but thought it was a beautiful picture of a Christ-centered marriage. When a person is alone, she can quickly become overwhelmed. A spouse can help to bear the burdens of life, but the strength of a marriage of only two people pales in comparison to a marriage strengthened by adding a third partner- God.

Study after study has shown that children do best in a home where their parents are married to each other. They are physically and emotionally healthier, do better in school, are less likely to commit crimes, etc. When you add in the component of spouses treating each other in a Godly manner and striving to set a Godly example for their children, the quality of the home environment rises even higher. Just as putting God first in our own personal lives makes us better parents, so, putting Christ first in our marriages benefits us and our children exponentially.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- II

2.

Thou shalt put God first in thine own life.

"You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." Deuteronomy 6:5

It's kind of like having your car in the proper alignment. When you're a Christian and you're striving after God's heart for your life, even when problems arise, things tend to go much more smoothly and peacefully. If you're a Christian living in the flesh, there is going to be an undercurrent of feeling out of whack, like you're spinning your wheels. You're likely to be more irritable, fearful, and confused.

From which of these spiritual places do you want to come when relating to and rearing your children? Which is more beneficial to you and to them?

When you're in right alignment with God every day, He is working in you to fulfill all the potential He placed inside you from the moment He breathed life into you. He's making you a better daughter to Him, a better wife to your husband, a better mother to your children, a better friend to those around you, a better employee to your boss.

It's the Army's slogan, but I think it fits Christianity so much better: "Be all that you can be." Do it in Christ....for your own good......and to better serve your family.

The 10 Commandments of Parenting- I

1.

Thou shalt be a Believer.

"They said, 'Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.'"

Acts 16:31

I can't imagine undertaking a task as huge as parenting without some divine intervention. It's a tough job!


Most things in life are simpler when you're a Christian. Not necessarily easier, but usually less complex. Take parenting, for example. If you're a Christian, parenting by God's word, you have a plan of action all laid out for you. You don't have to re-invent the wheel. What should I teach my kid about religion? What do I tell him about pre-marital sex? How do I reassure him about death? It's all in the Book. If you're not using the Bible as your parenting manual, it can be a much more confusing, fly by the seat of your pants operation.

When you're a Christian parent, you have the benefit of all the resources in God's storehouse. You've got a God who, at the end of a rough day, says, "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest." (Matt. 11:28); a God who promises that wisdom is yours for the asking (James 1:5); a God whose name is "the Lord will provide" (Gen. 22:14); a God whose eyes "...move to and fro throughout the earth that He may strongly support those whose heart is completely His." (II Chron. 16:9).

Finally, when you're a Christian parent pursuing holiness in your own life, God is working on you to make you more like Him: more loving, more joyful, more peaceful, more patient, kinder, better, more faithful, gentler, and more self-controlled. (Eph. 5:22-23) What parent couldn't use some help in all those areas?

Parenting- A Silent Witness

I was talking to some friends the other day about some children I had recently seen misbehaving in a restaurant. The following two excerpts came up during the conversation. The first is from a waiter from Colorado who shared his experience on The Stained Apron ( http://stainedapron.com/misc.htm), a discussion site for waitstaff. Except for "bleeping" out some profanity, I have quoted it verbatim. The second was a personal experience of one of the friends I was talking to.

As you read, if you have children, think about the way they behave themselves in public now, as well as the way you will want them to behave as adults.


"One night I'm managing my little Mexican restaurant and it's super slow, maybe three deuces in the whole place. I'm talking to the hostess and for some reason she asks who the worst customers are. Without hesitation I say, "Christians." Being a gigantic Christian she is shocked and asks why.

I tell her about another restaurant where I worked where on Saturday nights, after late night mass I would always get this table of Catholics that would run my *** of, want a dozen separate checks and would leave me this folded up piece of paper that looked like a twenty. On the inside of the paper it said "Why are you disappointed that this isn't money? All the riches of heaven await you if you take Jesus as your savior." As a lapsed Christian I have taken Jesus as my savior, but little pieces of paper that aren't actual money don't pay my **** rent.

I continue telling her similar stories about how stingy Christians are especially on Sundays. You couldn't pay me fifty dollars an hour to wait tables on Sunday morning right after church. Everyone is a complete ****. All those little kids who aren't allowed to run around screaming in church have carte blanche in my restaurant. Then they argue about the service. Then they argue about the prices. Then they leave a quarter on the table because they just gave 10% to God, so why should they give even a dollar to some guy that just brought them coffee and pancakes. After an hour of berating Christian customers the hostess is in tears and asks to go home early. So, I send her home.

Next time I work with this hostess she apologizes to me. After I sent her home she called her Pastor, then went to his house and told him all the horrible things I said. The Pastor was disturbed and in Bible Study the next week he initiated a discussion about restaurant etiquette. He found that his whole flock were **** in restaurants and bad tippers. He then quoted some scripture that went along the lines of "The law of the land is also my law and you shall obey it." Then said that tipping 10% or better was the law of the land. It's a small dent in the bad Christian customers, but hopefully it will spread."


"My brother-in-law used to work as a manager at a local fast food place and he always said that Sunday afternoons and evenings (after the morning and evening services ended) were the WORST times to be working. The after church crowds never failed to (1) be rude to the workers (2) trash the dining room and the salad bar (3) let their kids run from table to table (4) leave their messes.

Three years of this and he refused to set foot in a church for like another five years. He didn't want to be around those people."


Whether we're conscious of it or not, our actions as parents have an effect on those around us. Are we raising our kids so that their behavior, both now and when they reach adulthood, draws people towards Christ or pushes them away?